Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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