Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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