I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
