do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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