I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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