I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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