Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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