Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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