Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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