He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
