he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
and you fell through a lawn chair
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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