Sponge bath it is.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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