Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
