oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
