Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
