i just sent this text using only my big toe
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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