well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
