It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
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It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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