that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
