Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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