watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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