She is in my trunk
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
