I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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