i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love having hate sex.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
