Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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