Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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