Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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