I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself