So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.