Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
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i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize