ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
