Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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