I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
