Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we made out on top of his cat.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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