It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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