i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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