i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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