I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize