I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
