where am i from again
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
