I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
