I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
