Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Two words: blizzard sex
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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