I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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