You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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