It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
