just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
