So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I cut my penus on the lid.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
