i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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