I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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