I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
