I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize