Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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