It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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