listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
