you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
